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A super Rebecca Bross interview, including A-Suk

Dyke Andreea Joyce interviews Rebecca once again

But this one interview special, take my word for it

After writing that story about how I’m committed to making Rebecca Bross my favorite current American gymnast and watching the interview I threw in at the end, I went and watched a whole bunch of other Rebecca interviews.  With every one I watched, I sensed something was wrong – or maybe not “wrong,” but just unusual.

By the fourth interview, I had figured out what it was: I have NEVER heard her say “like,” or “I mean . . .” or “I was all . . .” or “you know.”  She is a fierce speaker who talks in an assertive but never conceited voice.  She talks like she’s a damn 40-year-old, not like she’s a teen member of Generation Cell Phone.

So now not only is she my favorite current American gymnast, she’s my favorite gymnast interview – possibly of them all.  (Except for Dobre., who will be my favorite interview until the earth collides with the sun.)

There’s one Rebecca interview I watched that I thought was important enough to make a whole story about, so that’s what I’m doing here, since for some unknown-to-God reason I am on some kind of kick to write about Americans and not about Aimee and beer and lesbian tendencies (although I touched on that on the last Rebecca story).

A slight diversion to gain understanding and to vent

The world is changing.

Now, before we get to the interview, I need somebody to explain something to me.  The interview we’re going to watch here is titled: Rebecca Bross Interview – 2010 Visa Championships.  As most of you know, I don’t watch TV ever, so I’ve never seen a full telecast of a competition, just the multi-part comps on YouTube.  Does that title mean that it’s the U.S. Nationals? only now they’re calling them Visa, after a fucking credit card?

It seems I remember that this is the case.  How goddamn pathetic, that such an important event is now named after a money-grubbing corporation.  Next thing you know, the Olympic Games will be called the fucking Papa Gino’s Olympic Games.

But it’s the same with the names they give sports arenas today, and the names they give college football bowl games.

Used to be, in Los Angeles, there was the Fabulous Forum.  Good name.  The Lakers played there, and the Kings hockey team, and they had car shows and flower shows and all that other shit.  Now, in L.A. we have the Staples Center – an arena named after an office supply store.

I told you I wasn't joking.

Bowl games?  Let’s see, there’s the fucking Famous Idaho Potato Bowl (I am not making these up, and here’s the page I got them from to prove it), and the Beef ‘O’ Brady’s Bowl, and the Little Caesars Bowl, and the Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl.  What the fuck is all that shit?

There was a time when we had the Rose Bowl, the Cotton Bowl, the Sugar Bowl, the fucking Orange Bowl, normal shit like that – not the goddamn Jim’s A-1 Plumbing Bowl.

What the hell was I talking about here?  Right – the Visa Championships.  Now I’m going to have to scroll up, because I can’t remember what I was talking about the Visa Championships in regard to.

Rebecca’s interview at the credit card meet

Andrea Joyce. Even A-Suk doesn't trust this dyke.

Once again, Rebecca is being interviewed by Andrea Joyce, who is a bull dyke, no matter what you say.  As usual, Rebecca gives a strong and clear and well-thought-out interview, which is all fine and worth watching, but notice A-Suk loitering on the edge of the podium behind her.

At :13, the house announcer says something that wakes Alicia up out of her daydream about being a respected and useful gymnast in order to clap, but it didn’t wake her up enough to put any effort into clapping, same as she put no effort into her performances in Beijing and thereby single-handedly cost America who knows how many medals, even though the Chinese were all underage and probably couldn’t have been beaten even if Alicia did know how to do gymnastics.

(That is one of the longest sentences I’ve ever written on this site!)

At :30, Andrea’s rambling on and, out of camera range, her penis must have touched Rebecca in . . . some place, and look at the reaction on Rebecca’s face!  (This is why I have no problem with lesbian gymnasts, but lesbian interviewers can create all kinds of problems.)

All the while, Sacramone stares blankly around the arena as if she’s looking for her ride.  And at :47 she finds him, and plays with him, saying, “You got the rum, I got the mask, ha ha ha ha.”

Okay, let’s see . . . at 1:02, the house announcer says something that Alicia feels is worthy of proper applause, just as Andrea “Chaz Bono” Joyce is asking Rebecca about the Suk-y one, to which Rebecca replies, “I’m very happy for her, and I’m glad she’s starting again.  She did great today, and I hope she does good on Saturday.”

God, I love Rebecca’s voice and the fact that she speaks just normal English words without any slang.  And it’s all good, and should have stayed good, but good old Al Trautwig’s voice comes on, after Chaz turns it over to him.

“What a focused young woman,” Al says.  “You can almost hear Carly [Patterson] and Nastia [Liukin] whispering in her ear.”

Well, I’ll give Nasty credit for being focused – on the level of Gene Simmons, but still – but Carly Patterson?  Focused?  Carly Patterson was about as focused as a muskrat crossing the freeway.  No – Rebecca is FOCUSED, and she is without question the best gymnast interview I’ve ever seen (aside from Dobre), no matter when she’s being interviewed and whether or not a carpet-muncher is holding the microphone.

That went pretty good.  I swear to God, I never thought I would be able to write like this about Rebecca Bross, but I’m beginning to like her more with everything I see from her – but especially her interviews and her awesome voice and lack of teen slang.

Now I MUST go and take a shower, because I’m filthy.  We’re back in Malibu after Friday, Saturday and part of today in Oceanside, where I don’t think I even bathed.  (I didn’t pee out a window, either, so credit me for that.)  But I’m really trying to stop talking so much about my personal life, so I don’t relay my bath schedule to you guys like I would have once upon a time.

Sarah!