Here’s another doll, and this one’s WAY worse than Barbie

What do you think of when you see the name “Sindy”?

I think of a porn actress (but then that’s about all I think of anymore, anyway)

You can’t get much cuter than Cindy Brady. (Or much hotter than Marcia.) (Or more heavily knockered than Jan.)

Seriously, though: Sindy.  A re-spelling of the traditional “Cindy” that has replaced “cin” with the evil word “sin.”  Sindy.  “Light of my life, light of my groin . . .”  Hang on and let me get that exact quote, cause I can’t remember it, and it’s one of the most beautiful opening two paragraphs in all of literature.

Here it is:

“Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.

“She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita.”

Dakota Fanning in “Hounddog” more closely depicts Nabokov’s Lolita than the actresses in either of the two “Lolita” movies do.

That’s from the book Lolita, written by Vladimir Nabokov, a Russian novelist and one of the greatest writers, in my opinion, to ever write a book.  For his first paragraph, he actually sat there and determined what the hell his tongue was doing inside his mouth as he spoke the name Lolita.  That’s a lot more research I’d ever do for any of my flimsy stories.

This flimsy story isn’t about Lolita, but I just got to thinking about that book (and movie) (the book is 10 million times better) because the subject of this story is Cindy Brady, from The Brady Bunch.  NOT “Sindy” like a porn whore’s name.  Or more specifically, it’s about the doll that was made in Cindy’s own image.

A reader here – and I forget who at the moment because I’m too fucked up – sent me this picture of Maureen McCormick (Marcia Brady), but I had already found it for myself and saved it. I’m just at odds over how to respond to this thing.

The last story I wrote here talked about Marcia Brady pitching a Barbie doll and the voiceover announcer asking the viewers if they’d like to “do” Barbie.  To which most normal people responded, “Hell, no – I want to do Marcia!”  While “doing” Marcia at the age she was in the commercial would have been a felony, you could have gotten away with “doing” Barbie with no problems.

Anyway, when I clicked some links from the Barbie video in the Marcia story, I came across a video of a commercial with Susan Olsen, who played “Cindy” on The Brady Bunch.  She’s about 14, 15, 16  (guessing) in this video, and she’s hawking her doll.  But the doll’s name is Sindy.

 

Here’s another doll whose name is Sindy.  No, just kidding.  This Sindy is a porn slut – and what a perfect name for a girl who makes her living escaping AIDS!  But is it a good name for a doll being pitched by cute little Cindy Brady?  (WARNING: THE LINK HERE GOES TO A SITE SO DISGUSTING, I WOULDN’T EVEN VISIT IT MYSELF IF I WASN’T WRITING THIS STORY.)

Just to be absolutely sure, I went over to IMDB to confirm that the character’s name in the TV show was spelled Cindy, and not Sindy.  And of course it was.  For a few moments I was perplexed as to how they could use Cindy Brady to market a doll with the name Sindy.  Then I figured it out.

The character and all related material, including the name of “Cindy Brady,” belonged to Paramount Studios.  The Sindy doll manufacturers were not going to give any share of the profits from the sale of the dolls to Paramount, so Paramount said they couldn’t use Susan Olsen along with the identifying name “Cindy.”

Surely the doll people were pissed off, because they anticipated making a lot of money off this product.  They wanted to use Susan, because everybody hadn’t forgotten about her yet, but calling the doll Sindy?  It was probably a hard decision for them.  I’m sure they discussed completely changing the name, but they knew how important it would be for viewers of the commercial to “hear” the name “Cindy.”  In the end, they went with Sindy, which, personally, I think was a bad choice.

(The UK also has a “Sindy” doll, though not related to Susan Olsen, as far as I know, but it may be.  The concept is just as ridiculous, either way.)

But you have to remember, in the 1970s, “sin” was not as popular a pastime as it is today.  Today, entire industries are being built just to help people add more sin to their lives.  In the 1970s, maybe people just thought that a doll named “Sindy” was nothing more than a cute take on a little-girl character who herself was as cute as they came.  Today we have porn whores with that name.

Here’s a really funny voiceover video featuring Cindy and Bobby Brady.  If you have a sense of humor, you’ll like it.  If you don’t, you won’t.  (It’s YouTube, so it’s fairly clean.)

Maybe I should change my name to Sinah.

Sinah!

Posted on October 7, 2012, in Sarah's Corner. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.

  1. Agreed about Nabakov. Lolita is one of the best books I’ve ever read.
    “Sindy” is a porn star/stripper name if I ever heard one. Also-Sindee, Sindi, etc. “Sinah” is clever.
    The 70’s were weird but they were still better than today. Better gymnastics, better TV shows, better baseball-also, back then people actually read books like Lolita. Today they don’t even watch the movie.
    That is an…interesting picture of Dakota Fanning. I had to look that movie up, haha. Now it’s in my head that she’d be just perfect to play Lolita.

    • Lolita is a literary masterpiece. And I didn’t thik about Sindee and Sindi – all good porn whore names

      Everybody I’ve talked to who lived or grew up in the 70s, says our life today is shit compared to that in EVERY way.

      When Dakota made “Hounddog” – 2006, 2007? I was praying for somebody in Hollywood to wake up and re-make “Lolita” and put her in it. I read that book when I was 13, and I’ve read it four or five times since, because the wording is just superb. As a self-proclaimed writer myself, I’m telling you that it was a masterful feat for Nabokov to pull off a book about that subject as elegantly as he did. Few others could have come close.

      Sarah!

  2. More M. M./Barbie commercials that I noticed after watching the Sindy commercial.

    • AWESOME VIDEOS! I have plans for at least one of them. Let’s see if I can get better as teh night progresses and maybe I’ll do one – or both in a story.

      Thanks for sending them.

      Sarah!

    • In watching these MMc Barbie commercials, I found something that was hilarious and saved it and will use it as soon as I’m intellectually able.

      Thanks for everything.

      Sarah!

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