Answers to the Moceanu quiz
Somebody wrote and said what good is a quiz if you don’t give people the answers to grade themselves with? That makes sense. So here are the answers to the Moceanu quiz.
ANSWERS TO THE MOCEANU QUIZ
1. Bart Conner had trouble pronouncing this gymnast’s name.
The correct answer is “all of the above,” which I forgot to write in. Another suitable answer is “every gymnast with more than two syllables in her last name, except possibly Nadia for fear of getting his ass kicked.”
2. She’s the only gymnast to have possessed both a bronze and a silver Olympic All-Around medal.
The correct answer is D. Maria Olaru rightfully won the bronze AA medal in Sydney, then when the Idiotic Olympic Committee (IOC) stripped Raducan of her gold and gave it to Simona, Maria moved up a slot to silver. Liu Xuan, who was more beautiful than any of the Romanians, moved up to bronze, proving that beautiful girls don’t always win. Bridget Sloan is another proof of this.
3. This gymnast single-handedly changed the entire course of women’s gymnastic, even though she didn’t really do shit in her short career.
The correct answer is C. Moceanu’s career may have been short, but she turned the tide of gymnastics. Key reasons for this are 1. She was cute and boys wanted her; 2. She was able to stick her routines approximately 75 percent of the time; 3. God helped her perform with a stress fracture, because “without God there was no way I could have done it.”
4. After a trip to the Cayman Islands as a teenager and two children as a so-called “adult,” this gymnast’s husband is complaining that having sex with her is like throwing a hot dog down the hallway.
The correct answer is D. My guess is that after sunny days and moonlit nights of endless sex with Brian Huggins in the Cayman Islands when she was 17 and two babies with current husband Mike, Dom is similar to the door of a car after they use the Jaws of Life to get a trapped passenger out of it.
5. This gymnast was horribly overrated. (You can pick two.)
The correct answers are A and D. Bogi was overrated because people and judges thought she was better than she was. Moceanu was overrated because people and judges thought she was good.
6. This gymnast is horribly overweight. (Back to one choice.)
The correct answer is B. Although in some (probably retouched) photos Dom looks relatively non-fat, she definitely has a propensity for gaining weight. Plus she has a lot of muscles and she elected not to have knocker-reduction surgery, so most of the time she looks like one of those lesbian women who compete in monster truck pulls.
7. In the photo, Dominique, naturally, was the only one eating. So why did Daniela pull Dom’s plate away from her?
Example of a correct essay answer: “Daniela knows it’s not good to eat like a pig. And she knew Dom was the type who would eat everything in sight if no one intervened. Like the time Dom and Mike went to The Olive Garden and Dom ate so fast and furiously, she came home and shit a waiter.” (52 words.)
8. It is rumored (thanks to me) that Aurelia Dobre once got this gymnast’s curling iron stuck in her vagina.
The correct answer is D. It’s anybody’s guess why Daniela did her hair like that back in 1988, and it’s my guess what kind of trouble her curling iron might have got into, so to speak.
9. This gymnast is really lucky that Daniela, Svetlana and Maria agreed to be seen with her in public.
The correct answer is D. (The way this thing is going, you could have just answered D for everything and you would have passed!) It’s clear that Daniela, Svetlana and Maria would have preferred to eat alone, but one of them (probably Bogi) felt sorry for Dom and asked her to come along.
10. One time, Marta Karolyi slammed this gymnast’s head into a telephone, and the gym got a $585 phone bill after the head accidentally dialed Egypt and they left the line open for 14 hours.
The correct answer is A. Dominique has wasted no opportunity to criticize the Karolyis for getting her national exposure and putting her in the position to win an Olympic gold medal. If I was Bela and Marta, I would have sent Dom a bill for the phone call.
Okay, I’m re-burnt out on WordPress, so it’s time to retreat to the shadows for a little while longer.
Posted on June 28, 2011, in Dominique Moceanu, USA and tagged Andreea Raducan, Bela Karolyi, Daniela Silivas, Dominique Moceanu, Maria Olaru, Marta Karolyi, Svetlana Boginskaya, USA gymnastics. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.